Be My Forever
by fortheloveofpoetry
Summary: This is a one shot, about a very touchy subject. Depressing. Read with caution.


**Author's Note: **Hey guys. Well as the summary says, this is a touchy subject. Read with caution. Sorry for such a depressing bit, but hey you guys should be used to my depressing work! Lol. Enjoy! As always, reviews are welcome.

_

* * *

_

Ashley's POV

The ink on the paper was thick, heavy, like the thoughts weighing on my mind. I didn't even realize I had begun crying until I signed it with a heart at the bottom. I was such a hypocritical mother fucker. Signing it with a heart? Really Ashley? You are pathetic. I thought of Spence briefly, bringing my tears on full force. Not even waterproof mascara could hide these emotions, and my point was only proven as my tears dripped black onto the paper below. I wiped them quickly, afraid of being weak. Yet ironically, this whole moment, this decision, was all about weakness. I silently cursed myself for giving a fuck, because ever since Kyla passed away I had sworn I wouldn't care anymore. I glanced over at our picture hanging on my wall. A distant memory. She looked so beautiful, so happy, so lively. I kept reminding myself that this was for her. I re-read the note and gently kissed Kyla's picture. I had never felt so alone, as I did, atop this chair. I clenched my eyes shut and swiftly kicked. Embraced by the darkness.

_

* * *

_

Spencer's POV

I awoke at 1pm, surprised by the time. Ashley had promised to call me at 10am. I called her, but she didn't answer. I decided I would do a couple things and try her cell again. I ate something and brushed my teeth. When I called again, I was again met with her voicemail. I decided to drive over and check on her, maybe she had just overslept. I got dressed and tried calling one final time before I headed over. Again, no answer. I began to panic on the drive to her place, because this wasn't like Ashley; at all. When I pulled up her car sat in it's place in her driveway. Her outside post light was on, which was the first thing she turned off when she woke up. I knocked and rang the doorbell, countless times. When I still didn't get a reply, I decided to put the key she had given me to good use. I let myself in, and immediately noticed the silence of her house. I began to panic even more. I couldn't find her anywhere downstairs. I called out her name. No response. I couldn't shake this horrible feeling. I made my way up to her room. I slowly opened her bedroom door, and my life forever changed in that moment. Suspended from a wooden ceiling beam was the girl I loved.

"NO!" I screamed out. "NO!! NO! No this can't be fucking happening!" I began sobbing. I scanned the room for a knife. When I couldn't find one I ran downstairs to the kitchen to grab one. I pulled the chair over and climbed up to cut her down.

"Ashley please.. No Ashley please wake up!" I sobbed as I held her cold body close to mine. That's all she was now, a body, a corpse. The life had been sucked right out of her. She wasn't Ashley anymore.

I didn't remember calling the paramedics until they were there, pulling Ashley from my grasp. I didn't want to let her go. Letting her go made this more real. The thought, the concept, that this was real.. scared me. I sobbed as I watched them put her on a stretcher and cover her with a white sheet.

White. Innocence and purity. That sheet should be a different fucking color, because nothing about this was innocent or pure.

The week that led up to her funeral was long and hard. I handled most of the arrangements because Ashley's mom didn't seem to care. Our friends decided laying her to rest next to Kyla would be what she would have wanted.

I glanced myself over in the mirror. I looked so depressing, clad only in black clothes and sorrow.

I re-read the note she left behind once more.

'Don't forget about me.. because I lived to brighten and died to be remembered. I never meant to hurt anyone, that wasn't my intentions, although I know these words can't justify my cause. This isn't 'goodbye' because I hate that word.. it's more like 'I'll see you later' because one day I will.'

Signed with a heart, as mine was crumbling.

I broke down; destroyed. With that, she became a statistic. Another person who couldn't make it, and now I wondered if I could.

None of her family attended the funeral, and a part of me wanted to go see her mom and punch her square in the face. I refrained.

I wrote and gave the Eulogy, and it was one of the hardest things I had ever done.

As I stood before our friends, and my… our family, the tears started before the words could. I whispered an apology, and continued.

'Ashley Davies was more than just a girl. She was a beautiful person. Her smile was contagious and she was quick to spread it. I never knew true love before Ashley. Beyond romantic love. She showed me how to love another human being, without judgment, without conditions, without fear. She made me fearless to give her my all. What Ashley Davies taught us, and showed us, didn't part with her last week. It stays strong in all of us, and we will be able to pass on all the wonderful things she showed us, to the people we touch later on in life. And that's what she would have wanted… us to show the world her beauty. Her body is gone, that's correct, but her love, and her spirit remains in all of us. Anyone whose life she touched, has a piece of her. Forever.'

I returned to where I had been standing, met with loving embraces. The clouds parted for a brief moment; the sun enveloping me in it's warmth. That's how I knew she was there, and I basked in her abiding love. The only thing that I knew would get me through the days. Because it wasn't about strength, life never is. It's about learning to be weak, and being willing to let someone see that. It's about finding someone you trust to lean on, and support you. It's about finding someone to live for, to breathe for, and to die for. Ashley will always be that person to me, even though she's gone. She will always be who I am living for. Who I am breathing for. Who someday, I will die for.

If losing Ashley taught me anything, it's that life's too short. Love unconditionally, and help whoever you can. Be a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold, and a person to fight for. Be someone's forever, beyond love, friendship, everything. Just be there. Life's too short to be mean, heartless and cruel. Say you love someone before they walk out the door, before they hang up the phone, and live with no regrets. Because every mistake made you who you are today, who you'll always be. Be someone's Ashley Davies. Be someone's forever.


End file.
